As a capable woman who owned a successful small business, was not interested in pioneering and was not pining for a man - I did not fit the mold. There is no template for that in their social structure.
The expectation as a single woman was work part-time, pioneer and wait to get married. Once you are married, you pioneer and/or become a servant's wife. These are the only two pathways to any sort of social standing.
If the elders tried to correct me on anything that I thought was unscriptural, I reminded them that as a single sister I appreciate their "concern" but Jehovah was my head - so if you have an issue with something, take it up with him. That usually shut them up for a bit. :-)
Since I was not on either of the approved paths and had a strong personality, I was 'shunned' without being shunned.
As my business grew, and I developed more as a person, I had less and less in common with any of them and I faded out.
I've returned to attend a few memorials and I have to really prepare myself for the amount of sexist and mysoginistic comments that come flying out of their mouths from the stage. If I ever lost my mind and went back, I don't even know what my responses would be to some of the shit they try to pull.
It is pretty clear to me that because the men are not allowed to fulfill their desire for achievement secularly, then when they get a position in the organization, they use what little power they are allowed and run with it to satisfy their ego. The abuse of power is endless and mostly unseen.
Today, I'm finishing my BA degree in psychology, planning on graduate school and attending a secular buddhist community. I feel more intellectually stimulated and emotionally grounded than I have in a very long time. Fading out was the best thing I could have ever done for my self - well, that and A LOT of therapy. :-)
Leave if you can see the way out - especially if you are a woman.
DS
